perplexi

muscles tense...
the world's closing in and making a point of boldness,
telling me to wait a minute and start later.
2 in the morning
the ringing in my ears is metallic and the mirror shows me for the vampire I am
hands shaking...
i should start
i need to fight that my mind
the one that says "you can't work, you're just not ready"
the one that gives me this ADD
got to work, but I'm screwed
let's put off what we can do today 'till tomorrow
and see how deep I'm
massage my eyes and take a leak
then continue to circle
all because there's "stuff" to do first
like staring at the wall
shaking shaking towards the end
the suspense it terrible, I hope it'll last
so I'll give a job that's completely half-assed
just because
the minutes tick away my sanity
and make me wonder if I'm really sick in the head to be doing this
my heart's palpitating and putting lead boots on my feet
all because...
oh, the anxiety
oh, the humanity
so damn lazy I just want to smash my head against the keyboard
then I won't need to finish...